Sunday, November 13, 2011

All Good Things must come to and end, but some Bad Things linger... longer than you might care to smell

~ The Pink Wino Wrap Party ~

 We've had our massive wrap party thanks to Dan Collins from Old Gold Garage Co. who provided the Dreamstone. A little red neck BBQ Vienna Snausages H'orderves with some pink wine bitchees. None of this would have been possible had Biltwell not thrown us a green light, and how do you tell retards not to do something they have their mind set on doing when it's near impossible to tell them their right hand from their wrong? So big thanks Biltwell and all the WUSS ARMY regulars and new recruits who ventured on our Second Annual festival de' disgrace! We'll be back when the need arises or the emissions run marathon nocturnal. See you in your dreams ....
The HQ is powering down, but we'll leave the lights on cause we're stupid like that!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Award Ceremony ~ Saturday Night Nov. 5th at the Mad Dog Theatre, somewhere off the beaten path...

 Last year we made Wuss Skatedecks as Award Prizes to cement in memory a few of the hardy beefy Wuss Riders who attended our first ever non-official ride to last years Slab City Riot 2. The winners last year went to Old Gold / Tiffany for being the only female rider to ride solo the entire route (on half a Sportster no less! Word up!), and to both Wompy and Lucifer who both crashed along the route. This year we figured, NO crashing awards but it gave us the idea to make Award Helmets as something you could hang in your garage or clubhouse just as easy as a skate deck. So what should we paint on them? "How about giant pussies!?" Perfect.
So after a short discussion on the potential candidates for awards this year, MC Kit and myself decided upon the following; The first Pussy Helmet went to two-peat winner Lucifer, because this dude is bad ass. He rode from the South Bay area through the heaviest of rainstorms to the Wuss Ride meeting place, and the entire length of the Wuss Ride (still raining), in nothing but a pair of Dickies Shorts and a Pushead Sweatshirt. Forget the leather, forget the heated rain gauntlets, forget boots. This dude wore low top adidas (or something) WITHOUT SOCKS! We weren't going to the beach! I think he lost both his cell phone, video camera and digital camera due to water damage too. Sorry about that Lucifer but thanks for coming out and NEVER ONCE uttering a negative word about the rain, chill, freezing conditions, visibility lack-there-of, or anything even remotely negative. Stand up, you earned it again!
 The second Award Helmet was more of a "Thanks Helmet" for the silent Wuss partner, Mr. Alan Stedman, the absolutely fantastic artist who takes our childish scribbles and confused ideas and turns them into pure artistic wonderment. You've seen his Dice magazine cover and cut out biker-doll clothing, Wuss Route Maps and Bandanas and our (now vandalized) blog Header, his stuff is top notch. How one pulls gold out of a dead horses ass is beyond me, but this guy can draw like a Mother Wusser'! If you need ART, designs, logos, graphic design, color separation, maps, etc., this is your go to guy. Contact him through his own business HERE:
The second Pussy Helmet went to the entire clan of theInland Empires NEVER-READYS! Ryan Dunns photographs blow me away ever time, but this group of riders amazed us at their show of force presence for the Wuss Ride. Not only did they BBQ for the entire weekend, offer any and all attendees some free grub at all hours of the day or night, offer up other riders without a tent some floor space inside their support trailer (you know, some dudes thought, I'll just throw a blanket on the ground and crash. Not so easy to due in chilly wind!), bring a truck-load of firewood, shared the firewood, but they also took the brunt of the attention from the local law enforcement visitations. The best story was the Sheriff or other(?) who approached them and inquired if they were the Rioter's who were planning on conducting an illegal gambling event over an organized mosh pit with weapons, because they "fit the profile." Jesus, how do you keep a straight face when the Coctagon has become something you "fit the profile" of?
We gave the third and final Helmet Award, the "Gapping Sphinkster" to the Biltwell crew for cancelling the Slab City Riot 3. I don't know for sure, if they did or didn't come up and accept the award. I know, I wouldn't have! But one way or another, it made it into their humble hands. And all kidding aside, Biltwell is the Best, I love them. Thanks Bill, McGoo, and Mike D., for everything that you do, and the sponsors who supported the Slab City Riot even though it transformed into something completely different than expected, but in my opinion better and funner! I'm curious where you'll display your well deserved hard earned award next time I stop by the HQ?
Fits like a charm!
above pic by Johnny No of BarsandBikes blog. He posted up a bunch of Wuss Ride photographs too!
Some unsaid thanks; There's a lot of people who had their fingers in the Wuss Ride cookie jar, and we'd like to thank you for everything you did. This was something that we were doing for fun from the announcement of a third Slab City Riot and as hoped, it was fun. Real fun. Because you participated and joined the Wuss Army! Thanks again, everyone.


If anyone deserves some credit, and credit where credits due, there were more elements at work putting this non-event together than one might first expect. The guy named Alan (yes, another Alan! Because let's face it, Alans are kick-ass! and thanks for the info CRFyou) who put this Van together made my morning during the Wuss Ride initial gathering on Friday. When this beast rolled up, I figured, rain -or- not, we're going to really really have a good time. Thanks for the effort guys! Hope the neighbors understood, this IS how we show our love for motorcycles; tagging up the sides of our vans! ha ha ha.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Warner Springs Gas Station ~

I'm going to throw out a big thanks to the Gas Station attendant who allowed 50 plus bikers over a hour or so period, some came, others left, more came, etc. to hang out inside her little shop and dry off and warm up. She didn't have to be as nice as she was and it was really appreciated! We altered the route last minute, nullifying any worth other than sentimental value that the Map-Bandanas held and this was our one and only stop along the new Wuss Route. Just over the half way point I guess. Plus there was a little break in the rain, so it was great. Another massive thanks go out to the guys from Biltwell who showed up for the Wuss Ride and brought along with them enough clear face shields handing them back at the Swing Inn, out to any rider in need, and there were more than a few, ha ha, dozens who later told that the face shield "IT SAVED MY LIFE MAN!!!!" Serious thanks!

From the Swing Inn to Destinations Unknown

 Time counts and keeps countin', and we knows now finding the trick of what's been and lost ain't no easy ride.
 But that's our trek, we gotta' travel it. And there ain't nobody knows where it's gonna' lead. Still in all, every night we does the tell, so that we 'member who we was and where we came from...
 but most of all we 'members the Cult that finded us, them that came the salvage. And we lights the city, not just for them, but for all of them that are still out there. 'Cause we knows there come a night, when they sees the distant light, and they'll be comin' ...
 So we better get out there and start this party.

Well, talk about a day in Southern California where a bunch of cat's met for a Wuss Ride to destinations unknown. Life is so strange. Just to get to the start of the Wuss Ride most were already completely soaked and the ride itself was 80 miles over the hill to the middle of nowhere. These be the true in the mix of many. Slab City was out of the question... so a new location was determined to be our best last hope.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Operation: Illusive Unicorn ~ Mission Success Reported

Just got home from what was thee best time of the year. All I can say is that the rain can wash the sand outta anyones vagina... and if it doesn't well maybe you have something stuck up, I don't know, maybe another hole? Take a hand mirror and check. Then come back! I'll (of course) be posting pictures up for the next few weeks, here and on my main squeeze, the Lady Hump. Stay tuned for WUSS RIDE shin splitting pants pissing table burning hot nasty! Gotta throw a thousand kisses to the Biltwell crew for their prestige, my hat is off to you gentlemen of wonder!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Wuss Ride ON, Slab City Riot OFF

Just like the flyer says; Bring your own Food and Drink. We're going "rave" style as far as where we'll end up, but it WILL NOT be at SLAB CITY, that I promise you.
(You can ride with (w)US(s) or you can shoot there by a route of your own choice... the point is to have a great time camping with friends and riding some motorcycles dang namb'it!). We'll still be in Temecula handing out the greatest stuff for an event that "never happened...." I'm leaving tomorrow late afternoon to drink a few with Beer Booter's Terry, so if I having any additional information, I'll throw up in a post. Other than that, keep up with facebook and the threads on Chop Cult. Now, let's go for a ride!

Soup Prize, Soup Prize, Soup Prize!!!

 Well, it's almost here. November 4th! The start of the ride you've been waiting for... to the party you've been waiting for, for a long time now.

Here's a little teasing sneak peak of some "Helmet Awards" we'll be forcing on some lucky Wuss Ride participants for their unique and "Wussified" participation in this years ride. It's the perfect gift to wear AND display around the garage or club house. Nothing says, I'm a "Wuss" more than one of these helmets, I guarantee it Sloucher!

 You've still got time, as I've said before, to get your "puckered starfish off the fence" and ride out to Temecula before 10:30 AM Friday November 4th (we meet at the Swing Inn for breakfast before that if you're nerd-early). The Wuss Ride starts at 11:00 AM. The Slab City Riot (3) goes on from the time we/you get there late(r) Friday Nov. 4th movie night, Saturdays Afternoon Ride and Live Bands at night, through till Sunday Nov. 6th for morning coffee and EXODUS!
Painted, leafed, fingered, and pinstriped by Kit!

Monday, October 31, 2011

Hey Yellow Yoke, how about Beginner Pins...

We got you pinned as a Wuss from the very beginning of the ride you little rascal!

Did I mention... FREE? Cause they are homeboy. Better start doing your push-ups now to get ready.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Wine Cooler Mittens

The FREE Wine Cooler Mittens have arrived and they look Purrr-fect. How you going to get yo paws on one you ask? Show up for the Wuss Ride. The proper way to enjoy a sparkling wine beverage in these designer mitten holders is to use only three fingers and an opposing thumb, the fourth finger (the pinky) must be held in the upright and extended fashion. Please write this down.

Lot of stuff going on at Wuss HQ. The amount of give-aways and the like, plus secret "painted helmet" awards (the like of which YOU have NOT seen before. Go ahead and FORGET laced metal flake, that is SO last week) is really starting to swell up like, say, a swollen (insert word here)!

5 days Germs!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Why ladies shouldn't play in the Coctagon...

10 Day Countdown to the WUSS RIDE.
The Awesomeness is so near I can smell it like a must floating in the air.

Clearly, I said "shouldn't" not "cant" Cindy!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

15 Day Countdown... to Forever

Some quick notes:
1.) Yes, we're rolling the Wuss Ride on FRIDAY at 10:30 AM Manhuggary and 11:00 AM Roll Time.
We wouldn't miss Movie Night for nothing, plus we're bringing the POPCORN...
2.) You are still highly encourage to roll yourself out of bed Saturday morning and shoot out, the party will still be going on! Can't promise you any Wuss Gear, but anythings possible. 
3.) If you've got a chase truck, van, or other vehicle rolling out with the Wuss Ride or on your own, BRING FIREWOOD. As much as you can fit. Stuff burns fast you know, and the bigger the flame the better!
Some additional lessons observed from last years riot.
a.) Don't camp far east (downwind) of anything highly flammable. You're lungs may suffer.
b.) Expect high winds at night.
c.) Be self-sufficient. Food, lodging, water, toilet paper.
d.) Choose wisely who you flirt with. You may end up with more than you can "handle" (meow).
e.) Although the cops don't tread on Slab land much, they will single you out if you're tearing ass through camp without a helmet, reckless driving, etc.
f.) Burnouts are gay. Period.

"I often ponder... who is truly man enough to riot?"

Thursday, October 13, 2011

We've got you "Colored" for the Slab City Riot 3

You see it all the time. Some Hipster has a bandana sticking outta' his rear pocket. You wonder what it means because, frankly, the only "grease" he's ever had on his hands is from popping pimples in the boys room with a hall pass. So, what's that mean? Here's the list... and you might want to print and keep a copy for your "personal research" purposes in the future.

Including the colors mentioned above we'll have a total of 10 colors available. First come, first served, but nothing guarantees you'll be "serviced..." 

(This is a JOKE. Please, for the love of all things holy, DON'T TAKE YOURSELF SO SERIOUSLY!)(... or maybe you can... I don't know.... Ummmm.)