Monday, October 31, 2011

Hey Yellow Yoke, how about Beginner Pins...

We got you pinned as a Wuss from the very beginning of the ride you little rascal!

Did I mention... FREE? Cause they are homeboy. Better start doing your push-ups now to get ready.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Wine Cooler Mittens

The FREE Wine Cooler Mittens have arrived and they look Purrr-fect. How you going to get yo paws on one you ask? Show up for the Wuss Ride. The proper way to enjoy a sparkling wine beverage in these designer mitten holders is to use only three fingers and an opposing thumb, the fourth finger (the pinky) must be held in the upright and extended fashion. Please write this down.

Lot of stuff going on at Wuss HQ. The amount of give-aways and the like, plus secret "painted helmet" awards (the like of which YOU have NOT seen before. Go ahead and FORGET laced metal flake, that is SO last week) is really starting to swell up like, say, a swollen (insert word here)!

5 days Germs!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Why ladies shouldn't play in the Coctagon...

10 Day Countdown to the WUSS RIDE.
The Awesomeness is so near I can smell it like a must floating in the air.

Clearly, I said "shouldn't" not "cant" Cindy!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

15 Day Countdown... to Forever

Some quick notes:
1.) Yes, we're rolling the Wuss Ride on FRIDAY at 10:30 AM Manhuggary and 11:00 AM Roll Time.
We wouldn't miss Movie Night for nothing, plus we're bringing the POPCORN...
2.) You are still highly encourage to roll yourself out of bed Saturday morning and shoot out, the party will still be going on! Can't promise you any Wuss Gear, but anythings possible. 
3.) If you've got a chase truck, van, or other vehicle rolling out with the Wuss Ride or on your own, BRING FIREWOOD. As much as you can fit. Stuff burns fast you know, and the bigger the flame the better!
Some additional lessons observed from last years riot.
a.) Don't camp far east (downwind) of anything highly flammable. You're lungs may suffer.
b.) Expect high winds at night.
c.) Be self-sufficient. Food, lodging, water, toilet paper.
d.) Choose wisely who you flirt with. You may end up with more than you can "handle" (meow).
e.) Although the cops don't tread on Slab land much, they will single you out if you're tearing ass through camp without a helmet, reckless driving, etc.
f.) Burnouts are gay. Period.

"I often ponder... who is truly man enough to riot?"

Thursday, October 13, 2011

We've got you "Colored" for the Slab City Riot 3

You see it all the time. Some Hipster has a bandana sticking outta' his rear pocket. You wonder what it means because, frankly, the only "grease" he's ever had on his hands is from popping pimples in the boys room with a hall pass. So, what's that mean? Here's the list... and you might want to print and keep a copy for your "personal research" purposes in the future.

Including the colors mentioned above we'll have a total of 10 colors available. First come, first served, but nothing guarantees you'll be "serviced..." 

(This is a JOKE. Please, for the love of all things holy, DON'T TAKE YOURSELF SO SERIOUSLY!)(... or maybe you can... I don't know.... Ummmm.)

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Hush Hush...

I'm in the dark, I'd like to read his mind
But I'm frightened of the things I might find
Oh, there must be something he's thinking of
to tear him away-a-ay.
When I tell him that I'm falling in Love
what does he say-a-ay?
Hush hush, keep it down now, voices carry...
He said Shut Up! - He said Shut Up!
Oh God can't you keep it down.
Swallow it
Teaser relief. I've been up for over 30 hours straight right now, I work nights and I went straight to the shop after that to crank out some Master-Blaster methane pig shit. Wuss Ride ~ Wuss Route Bandanas are finished! Smoke that in your peace pipe hippie scum!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Welcome to Fantasy Island...

"Smiles Everyone... Smiles."

This years Wuss Route map by the talented Mr. Stedman. I could stare at this guys work for hours. We're in the process of finishing up the Bandana Map art and we'll have those into production for this years Wuss Ride. How to get one? Well, it's no secret, they're free and available on a first come, first serve basis at one place and one place only; (the parking lot outside of) The Swing Inn cafe on November 4th at roughly 10:30 am. We ride at 11:00 am. We'll give out some hats and t-shirts, stickers, and pink purple and yellow Wabbits Feet too...