From the Swing Inn to Destinations Unknown

 Time counts and keeps countin', and we knows now finding the trick of what's been and lost ain't no easy ride.

 But that's our trek, we gotta' travel it. And there ain't nobody knows where it's gonna' lead. Still in all, every night we does the tell, so that we 'member who we was and where we came from...

 but most of all we 'members the Cult that finded us, them that came the salvage. And we lights the city, not just for them, but for all of them that are still out there. 'Cause we knows there come a night, when they sees the distant light, and they'll be comin' ...

 So we better get out there and start this party.

Well, talk about a day in Southern California where a bunch of cat's met for a Wuss Ride to destinations unknown. Life is so strange. Just to get to the start of the Wuss Ride most were already completely soaked and the ride itself was 80 miles over the hill to the middle of nowhere. These be the true in the mix of many. Slab City was out of the question... so a new location was determined to be our best last hope.

Operation: Illusive Unicorn ~ Mission Success Reported

Just got home from what was thee best time of the year. All I can say is that the rain can wash the sand outta anyones vagina... and if it doesn't well maybe you have something stuck up, I don't know, maybe another hole? Take a hand mirror and check. Then come back! I'll (of course) be posting pictures up for the next few weeks, here and on my main squeeze, the Lady Hump. Stay tuned for WUSS RIDE shin splitting pants pissing table burning hot nasty! Gotta throw a thousand kisses to the Biltwell crew for their prestige, my hat is off to you gentlemen of wonder!

Wuss Ride ON, Slab City Riot OFF

Just like the flyer says; Bring your own Food and Drink. We're going "rave" style as far as where we'll end up, but it WILL NOT be at SLAB CITY, that I promise you.

(You can ride with (w)US(s) or you can shoot there by a route of your own choice... the point is to have a great time camping with friends and riding some motorcycles dang namb'it!). We'll still be in Temecula handing out the greatest stuff for an event that "never happened...." I'm leaving tomorrow late afternoon to drink a few with Beer Booter's Terry, so if I having any additional information, I'll throw up in a post. Other than that, keep up with facebook and the threads on Chop Cult. Now, let's go for a ride!

Soup Prize, Soup Prize, Soup Prize!!!

 Well, it's almost here. November 4th! The start of the ride you've been waiting for... to the party you've been waiting for, for a long time now.

Here's a little teasing sneak peak of some "Helmet Awards" we'll be forcing on some lucky Wuss Ride participants for their unique and "Wussified" participation in this years ride. It's the perfect gift to wear AND display around the garage or club house. Nothing says, I'm a "Wuss" more than one of these helmets, I guarantee it Sloucher!

 You've still got time, as I've said before, to get your "puckered starfish off the fence" and ride out to Temecula before 10:30 AM Friday November 4th (we meet at the Swing Inn for breakfast before that if you're nerd-early). The Wuss Ride starts at 11:00 AM. The Slab City Riot (3) goes on from the time we/you get there late(r) Friday Nov. 4th movie night, Saturdays Afternoon Ride and Live Bands at night, through till Sunday Nov. 6th for morning coffee and EXODUS!

Painted, leafed, fingered, and pinstriped by Kit!

Hey Yellow Yoke, how about Beginner Pins...

We got you pinned as a Wuss from the very beginning of the ride you little rascal!

Did I mention... FREE? Cause they are homeboy. Better start doing your push-ups now to get ready.

Wine Cooler Mittens

The FREE Wine Cooler Mittens have arrived and they look Purrr-fect. How you going to get yo paws on one you ask? Show up for the Wuss Ride. The proper way to enjoy a sparkling wine beverage in these designer mitten holders is to use only three fingers and an opposing thumb, the fourth finger (the pinky) must be held in the upright and extended fashion. Please write this down.

Lot of stuff going on at Wuss HQ. The amount of give-aways and the like, plus secret "painted helmet" awards (the like of which YOU have NOT seen before. Go ahead and FORGET laced metal flake, that is SO last week) is really starting to swell up like, say, a swollen (insert word here)!

5 days Germs!

Why ladies shouldn't play in the Coctagon...

10 Day Countdown to the WUSS RIDE.

The Awesomeness is so near I can smell it like a must floating in the air.

Clearly, I said "shouldn't" not "cant" Cindy!

15 Day Countdown... to Forever

Some quick notes:

1.) Yes, we're rolling the Wuss Ride on FRIDAY at 10:30 AM Manhuggary and 11:00 AM Roll Time.

We wouldn't miss Movie Night for nothing, plus we're bringing the POPCORN...

2.) You are still highly encourage to roll yourself out of bed Saturday morning and shoot out, the party will still be going on! Can't promise you any Wuss Gear, but anythings possible. 

3.) If you've got a chase truck, van, or other vehicle rolling out with the Wuss Ride or on your own, BRING FIREWOOD. As much as you can fit. Stuff burns fast you know, and the bigger the flame the better!

Some additional lessons observed from last years riot.

a.) Don't camp far east (downwind) of anything highly flammable. You're lungs may suffer.

b.) Expect high winds at night.

c.) Be self-sufficient. Food, lodging, water, toilet paper.

d.) Choose wisely who you flirt with. You may end up with more than you can "handle" (meow).

e.) Although the cops don't tread on Slab land much, they will single you out if you're tearing ass through camp without a helmet, reckless driving, etc.

f.) Burnouts are gay. Period.

"I often ponder... who is truly man enough to riot?"

We've got you "Colored" for the Slab City Riot 3

You see it all the time. Some Hipster has a bandana sticking outta' his rear pocket. You wonder what it means because, frankly, the only "grease" he's ever had on his hands is from popping pimples in the boys room with a hall pass. So, what's that mean? Here's the list... and you might want to print and keep a copy for your "personal research" purposes in the future.

Including the colors mentioned above we'll have a total of 10 colors available. First come, first served, but nothing guarantees you'll be "serviced..." 

(This is a JOKE. Please, for the love of all things holy, DON'T TAKE YOURSELF SO SERIOUSLY!)(... or maybe you can... I don't know.... Ummmm.)

Hush Hush...

I'm in the dark, I'd like to read his mind

But I'm frightened of the things I might find

Oh, there must be something he's thinking of

to tear him away-a-ay.

When I tell him that I'm falling in Love

what does he say-a-ay?

Hush hush, keep it down now, voices carry...

He said Shut Up! - He said Shut Up!

Oh God can't you keep it down.

Swallow it

Teaser relief. I've been up for over 30 hours straight right now, I work nights and I went straight to the shop after that to crank out some Master-Blaster methane pig shit. Wuss Ride ~ Wuss Route Bandanas are finished! Smoke that in your peace pipe hippie scum!

Welcome to Fantasy Island...

"Smiles Everyone... Smiles."

This years Wuss Route map by the talented Mr. Stedman. I could stare at this guys work for hours. We're in the process of finishing up the Bandana Map art and we'll have those into production for this years Wuss Ride. How to get one? Well, it's no secret, they're free and available on a first come, first serve basis at one place and one place only; (the parking lot outside of) The Swing Inn cafe on November 4th at roughly 10:30 am. We ride at 11:00 am. We'll give out some hats and t-shirts, stickers, and pink purple and yellow Wabbits Feet too...

Slab City Riot 3 Schedule ... and FREE Popcorn ...

Yeah! The Schedule for the Slab City Riot 3 is up and looks good! Make sure you check it out, you wouldn't want to miss your favorite activity while you were out digging n' fingering sand outta your taco. The highlight in my opinion, aside from the utter bad'dassary of the entire weekend, is going to be the debut of the El Diablo Run 2011 movie! Can't wait to see that... and what goes better than a cold beer with some late night raunchy chrome and hot buttered leather bearded clam 70's biker stag flicks? Why of course, some FREE FREE FREE popcorn from the Wuss Bros Poppery!

We'll have bags upon bags of the stuff ready to hand out. 

Did I mention FREE? I think I did!

(limited supply to the first, I don't know, maybe 100 bags...)

This years course is so scenic you'll piss your jeans...

This years course is something to behold... The Wuss Ride route takes you from Temecula, through Hemet over the hump and down into Palm Desert for a short shot down the 111 hwy (and stop for a drink in Bombay Beach) to Niland, then 3 miles east to Slab City. We roll. You should too.

(Scroll down and STOP the music play to enjoy this video)

WE MEET @ 10:30 am and 
ROLL OUT @ 11:00 am on NOV. 4th FRIDAY

Swaging fo' Free

The Alan Stedman design for 2011. 

Wuss Army Gear. 

We realize we should have made pink-camo hat's but there's still time if we can round some up in the garment district downtown and not get sidetracked on Won Ton's and $25/hour massages, Beef Steak sandwiches covered in hot mustards and the ramblings of Armageddon from a slew of homeless Urchins pushing shopping carts to their destiny...

Wuss Gear for all your Sexy Needs and Bonfires!

FREE STICKERS

Swag and Goonies are starting to roll into Wuss Army HQ. Be the first to order up some HERE.

Remember, the Wuss Ride is dedicated.

TriCo. after dark

muff e' nuff... Oh yeah.

 If you were at the Salt Ghost premier on July 30th you probably got a blue-meth biker wristband for the Wuss Ride... If you missed the movie, that's ok too, we'll still be handing out wristbands at a few more southern california events before the next Slab City Riot (3). Stay tuned for time and place(s) but already I can tell you that you need to be at WOMPY'S POOL PALACE for the Internet Chopper Hero Jamboree (click the link!) hosted by The Beer Booters and Still Kicking on August 20th 2011 at High Noon!

Ok, so what the deal with the wristbands? Well, it's like this; last year we had about 75 riders join us on the Wuss Route to Niland/Slab City/the Slab City Riot 2. This year, Biltwell and Chop Cult are doublin' the fun of the Riot and now it's TWO nights. We'll be riding out on night #1 (friday) from Temecula sometime around 10am and plan on spending the weekend amongst the dirt and skirt. I know there's a bunch of you who have to work and are going to wait to the last minute to ask for the extra day off, so get your act in gear. Make sure you can roll out with us on Friday! Riders who sport their wristband(s) will be eligible for special prize awards. We're teasing you now, but suffice to say, if you thought last years Skate Decks were cool (and they were), this years stuff is going to make those look like junk yard trash. And these arn't your average blog shirts or random donated bike parts, we'll have those too. These will be one-and-only one shots, available nowhere else! Guaranteed. (So if you still... make it without a wristband, you're getting a new bandana map and some other trinkets you'll dig fo' shu." cause we love riding with ya.)

One the wristbands are gone, that's it... get yours as soon as you can!

Salty Taste In Your Mouth?

If you're into that kinda thing? We'll be handing out biker-meth blue wristbands at the Salt Ghost premier. Make sure you get yourself one if you stop by for a puff and a brew. If you wear one (of any color that we make; pink, blue or piss) on the Wuss Ride and we spot you sporting it, there's bounty to be had.

Don't Puss Out ~ Wuss Yourself In

Check out the OFFICIAL thread on CHOP CULT for the SLAB CITY RIOT 3.

And check out the micro-site for the SLAB CITY RIOT 3.

We'll be mapping out the new route for the Wuss Ride on the 4th in a few weeks, heat or sleet, so stay tuned for updates on Wuss Route info.